The thing about toxic relationships is, they have been glorified for far too long! In movies and TV, we see relationships that are full of passion, but not always in the healthiest ways. The reality of relationships is that none will be perfect! We are all constantly working on bettering ourselves and that affects our relationships too. But, sometimes certain patterns of a relationship can become toxic. It is important to recognize these patterns and then decide if they are issues you can work through or not. Hint: To work through an issue as a couple, it takes effort from both people! Keep reading below to learn 5 big signs you are in a toxic relationship.
1. You don’t feel supported in your growth.
Your partner should want what is best for you! They should want you to reach all of your hopes and dreams and actively support your growth. In a toxic relationship, sometimes your partner can be afraid of your growth. An often subconscious reason for this is that they don’t want you to grow because they fear you may become too good for them. This leads into sign number two.
2. Their confidence comes from you.
Okay, let’s be real…we all love an extra boost to our self-esteem from time to time. But if it is an often occurrence that you are having to reassure your partner about how much you love them, that you think they are attractive, that you would never cheat on them, etc, then that is a sign of a toxic relationship. They need to put work in for themselves to gain that confidence on their own rather than from you. A relationship is only as healthy as each individual in it is!
3. They have turned you against everyone else.
Sometimes, we lose friends and connections for various reasons, and that is okay. We are in different phases of life, our values change, we grow up, etc. But, if your significant other has turned you against literally everyone else in your life, that is a sign of a toxic relationship. Meaning, they have convinced you to stop talking to everyone else. This leads to you having no one else to turn to but them, which can take away a sense of your independence. And your independence is important, queen! If you have moved away from everyone else in your life, it is important to really think about the validity of why.
4. You are afraid to be vulnerable.
When we really trust someone, we do not worry about showing our emotions in a vulnerable way. If you can be vulnerable with your person and tell them what is really on your mind in a time of stress, this means you have a strong and trusting connection. On the other hand, if you feel like your partner will judge you or make you feel worse if you are vulnerable with them, this is a sign of a toxic relationship. Your partner should lift you up in your vulnerable moments, rather than someone who knocks you down further.
5. You have to do everything together.
There is a big difference between doing everything together and having to do everything together. Nobody really does everything together…that would be tough to do! But a lot of couples enjoy doing most things together, like going out, visiting family, going shopping, and more. Couples are together because they enjoy spending time together! But, if you feel like you actually can’t go do something without your significant other, that is a sign of a toxic relationship. You should be able to freely go out on that girl’s night without feeling bad for it!
In a healthy relationship, there is a level of trust where you don’t mind if the other person does something on their own. When we trust this way, we allow our partners to be free to live their lives both with us and for themselves!