How To Find Empowerment In Being Alone

I believe everyone should spend time alone, especially in early adulthood. But, there are so many things that “being alone” can mean. Does it mean being single? Does it mean spending time without anyone? Or does it mean spending time without people you know? How long should it be for? 20 minutes, 2 hours, a day? You can define these answers in the way that best fits your current situation, but being alone definitely does not have to mean feeling alone.

Personally, I define being alone as taking time to focus on myself, by myself. And I will take however much time I need or have available for it to feel in touch with myself. This is because the most important relationship you will have is with yourself! And there are so many benefits to being alone and prioritizing this relationship including feeling more centered and confident with yourself. Keep reading below to learn how to find empowerment in being alone and ideas of what you can do to start.

Is being alone lonely?

Let me be clear that being alone does not mean you are lonely! There is a false narrative that if you are spending time alone, it is because no one wants to spend time with you. Or, if you are single, it is because no one wants to date you. Both of these are NOT IT! If you are choosing to spend time alone or to focus on yourself as a single person, this is your choice to make. If you are in a happy relationship and enjoy some moments being alone, those are your boundaries to set. Being alone is your decision to make regardless of the judgment of others. And the funny thing is, that sometimes others are not even judging us in the way that we judge ourselves. So, make sure you remember that the time you spend alone is your choice.

Feeling lonely is entirely different and can happen whether you are surrounded by a room full of people or physically alone. To me, feeling lonely usually means that there is something else going on emotionally. It is not a choice and is more of a lingering feeling. If you are feeling lonely often, try checking in with yourself and your trusted loved ones. If you still can’t find a way to beat this feeling, try seeking guidance from a licensed mental health professional.

Why should I spend time being alone?

There are so many amazing reasons why you should spend time alone. To start, spending time alone will allow you to do the things you want to do! If you are constantly surrounded by other people, you might find that you are making group decisions and prioritizing what others want. In healthy relationships, there is a certain level of compromise. But what if you want to go shopping at TJ Maxx and your partner doesn’t? You should go peruse the aisles of TJ Maxx by yourself and have a blast! While this is a silly example, the idea of it can make a difference. It is important to spend some time alone to do the things that you want without feeling held back. With relationships, just make sure you have had a conversation on boundaries first to be respectful of each other.

Another reason why it is important to spend time alone is to get to know yourself. If you are constantly jumping from work to a hang-out to your next event, you won’t have time to check in with yourself. What are your goals lately? Have you been holding yourself accountable? How have you been feeling? Are you happy where you are? These are critical conversations to have as you continue to grow in life, to make sure you are following the right path for yourself and taking care of yourself.

A third reason why you should spend time alone is so you can re-center yourself. If you consider yourself to be an empath or highly sensitive person like myself, this is especially important for you. Constantly spending time with others and saying yes to plans to people-please can be detrimental to your energy. Spending some time being alone will allow you to recharge and re-center yourself.

What can I do alone so I am not bored?

If you are new to being alone, you may worry that you will become bored. Or, you may have already tried it and found yourself bored! To solve this problem, see below for a list of 20 things you can do alone so you are not bored. As you start to spend more time alone, you will discover how you like to spend this “me-time,” and you may not even need a list anymore! But for now, here are 20 ideas:

1. Write in a journal – see here for self-discovery journal prompts if you are feeling stressed
2. Clean your room/house
3. Make a new playlist
4. Binge-watch a show (sometimes, we just need to let our minds fall into a good show)
5. Read a self-help book – one of my favorites is Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King
6. Go on a hike
7. Do an at-home workout – there are so many videos on YouTube to guide you
8. Cook a new meal – see here for recipe inspiration
9. Practice meditation – see here for an easy guide on how to morning meditate
10. Plan a trip you’ve always wanted to take
11. Try painting with a paint by numbers
12. Go window shopping
13. Learn a new skill
14. Explore your spiritual or religious connection
15. People watch at a park or outdoor dining
16. Create a TikTok or Reels video
17. Have spa time – some ideas include painting your nails, doing a face mask, and taking a bath
18. Find a new hobby
19. Go to a museum
20. Renovate your living space