Energy is contagious. Have you ever met someone who you love being around, because they are always upbeat? The reason you love being around them is likely because they make you feel upbeat too! On the other hand, most of us know someone who is constantly complaining or gossiping. *Cue the gentle sigh associated with spending time with them.* This energy is especially contagious for those of us who are empaths, also known as highly sensitive people. But, empath or not, it has some sort of effect on everyone. Sometimes people can’t help their energy, for example, with mental illness. And that is okay! This guide is not about changing them or judging them. It is about supporting yourself to avoid absorbing their negative energy while still being supportive of them.
This is the scariest part about negative energy – it can snowball into absorption! In other words, once it gets rolling, it can become a habit that spreads around as it worsens. And, like any habit, it becomes more difficult to stop or unwind as it continues.
If you feel negative energy affecting you, whether it may stem from work, home, or friends, this article is for you. And if you are lucky enough to not have any negative energy in your life, you can still be proactive in learning to how to handle it. Keep reading to learn how to stop the snowball effect of negative energy.
1. The first step is awareness. Sometimes, we participate in negativity without even realizing. Gossiping is a huge culprit for this. It can be so tempting to gasp with interest when someone talks tea about another person. Or, if someone talks about how exhausted they are, it is easy to join the pity party. Or, sometimes, people are just going through a tough time emotionally for whatever reason. And this is okay!! Again, awareness is not judgement. The purpose of awareness is to ensure that you can be around this person while also protecting your own emotions. Next time something happens that brings your mood down a bit or leaves you feeling weird after, ask yourself if it is negative conversation or energy.
2. After realizing the energy is negative, try to change the subject to something more positive. Sometimes, people focus on the negative without realizing. They also may not naturally think of other things to talk about. Try swinging the conversation towards something more positive and see how they respond. For example, if someone has a bad day at work, remind them that the day isn’t over yet and there is still time to turn it around. If someone is gossiping, try to direct the conversation towards positive aspects of the person in subject. This will not only lift your spirit, but everyone else’s!
3. If this doesn’t work, politely communicate your unwillingness to participate. Just because your attempts to change the conversation didn’t work, doesn’t mean that you have to accept it. Additionally, sometimes people can’t take a hint and need to hear your feelings more directly. This can be as simple as directly saying that you want to talk about something more positive and your desire to uplift each other. Or, if you find your position as a friend turning into a therapist, this can be making a careful suggestion that your friend seeks professional help from a licensed therapist. Whatever the situation is, take the other person’s feelings into consideration while making it clear that you want to have a mutually beneficial relationship.
4. If all else fails, set clear boundaries to protect your energy. Have you ever heard of a “low dose friend”? This is a friend that you love so dearly, but can only spend so much time with them before their energy starts to overwhelm you. You truly believe that they have good intentions, but they can’t help themselves. Setting clear boundaries in these situations is important because their problems cannot become yours. Examples of setting clear boundaries include leaving group activities early if the night turns negative, only scheduling hangouts if it works well for you, and limiting time spent with a negative person.