Some things in our lives are uncontrollable. Many things are results of the decisions that we make. And we make decisions all the time! Some decisions are carefully thought out, like changing careers or ending a toxic relationship. Others are more simple and spontaneous, like going to a coffee shop or saying hello to a stranger. Regardless of the level of thought put into a decision, it sets an action into motion once made. And this action can have continued effects that are both expected and unexpected. Making decisions is a key part of life, so it is important to make them in a positive way.
In no way am I undermining the difficulty that can come with making decisions. In fact, making decisions has never been easy for me! Something about the level of pressure and the “what if”s can really get to me. However, I have finally learned to have a somewhat functional relationship with making decisions. So, these are the methods I have used to overcome this difficulty and avoid the standstill of indecisiveness. I hope this guide helps you start making decisions in a positive way too – you can do it!
Listen to Your Gut
Have you ever had a bad feeling in your stomach just before something bad happens? Or done something even though you knew you shouldn’t have? Well, this is your gut telling you something. And it is actually a bodily reaction to danger, as part of the fight or flight response.
When making a decision, listen to your body. How does it feel when you consider either side? Does something just not sit well with one side? While listening to your brain is important, our bodies can hold the history of feelings about certain outcomes we have had before. Make sure you take the way your gut feels into account when making a decision.
Utilize Word Vomit
Grab pen and paper, and try taking the time to write down all of your word vomit. Without stopping, write about the decision you are making, the options you are between, the emotions you are feeling, and anything else that comes to mind. Make sure you don’t pause for more than 5 seconds while writing, as the point of this exercise is not to think. Once you are done, read it all back.
Through writing and reading your word vomit, you are recognizing your unfiltered thoughts. These thoughts are how you feel and think before you have time to pass judgment on yourself. Keep in mind this also means you may not be rationalizing the facts, but it will surely uncover how you instinctively feel.
Make Lists
There is a reason why pro-con lists are so cliche for decision making. They can actually be super helpful! Writing a well thought out list provides insight complementary to the word vomit. Together, these two methods will help provide clarity.
Your word vomit will show how you feel, but a pro-con list will show you the analytical point of view. By comparing and contrasting the options you are between, a well-researched list will help ensure your decision is the most positive one for you. It also helps to avoid impulsiveness that can come from basing a decision solely on emotion.
Take Your Time…But Not Too Much
Have you ever filled your online shopping cart with clothes, struggle to narrow it down, become frustrated, and then not buy any at all? I’ll admit I have. And while this seems to avoid making the decision to eliminate beautiful skirts and blouses, it also means I will not have any new items of clothing at all. This is a silly example, but it works the same way in heavier circumstances.
When allowed, it is a good thing to take your time with important life decisions. However, make sure you aren’t mixing this up with refusing the decision. If you refuse to make a decision for too long, this eventually becomes a decision in itself. You have decided not to make a decision, not to progress or move forward. This will have consequences just like any other decision would.
To avoid this, set a deadline for yourself with making tough decisions. Whether your deadline is a few hours, days, weeks, or even years, hold yourself accountable to make a decision before it begins holding you back. Don’t allow life to happen to you – make the decision to take control of it!
Don’t Look Back
We have all heard the phrase “the grass is always greener on the other side.” Once you have made a decision, stop looking at the other side’s grass! Don’t allow yourself to wonder “what if.” (I am constantly reminding myself of this!) If you are truly miserable in your decision, then another decision can be made. Life is constantly evolving! However, you cannot undo the decision already made. So, commit to it and move forward.
I hope these tips help you make your next decision in the most positive way possible for you. If you have any personal tips on evading indecisiveness and making effective decisions, comment them below!