Have you ever totally lashed out at someone over something small? Or maybe a minor inconvenience spiraled into a full mental breakdown. Hours or days later, you might find yourself wondering, “Why did I overreact like that?” Well, I don’t believe in the word overreact. I believe our reactions are truthful reflections of the emotions we’re feeling, whether they’re on the surface level or deep inside, whether we’re aware of them or not. But often times, anxious negativity can stem down to one root cause: life feeling overwhelming. Learning to cultivate a positive mindset during these chaotic times is easier said than done, but so worth the effort. Keep reading for some gentle tips on how to be your own best friend when overwhelm and stress take over.
1. Start with Small, Manageable Changes
When everything feels like too much, it’s tempting to try fixing it all at once. As someone who has tried this method far too many times, it rarely works out as perfectly as you might think. Instead, focus on the small things you can control in a manageable way. Maybe it’s taking three deep breaths before responding to a stressful message, or pausing for a moment of gratitude for something tiny like a warm cup of tea or a stranger holding the door for you.
These little moments of calm and appreciation add up and help create a steady foundation when your ground starts to shake.
2. Practice Self-Compassion, Not Perfection
You’re human. You’re going to have days where your mind races, your patience wears thin, and you feel all the weight of the world on your shoulders. Sometimes you might feel this all at once, and you might not handle in the best of ways. I’m here to tell you: That’s okay.
Instead of beating yourself up for not handling things better, try talking to yourself like you would to one of your most sweet and loved friends. You know, the ones that you think deserve the world. Remind yourself that you do too, and that feeling overwhelmed doesn’t make you weak or broken. It makes you real and vulnerable. Self compassion is a muscle and the more you practice it, the stronger it gets.
3. Reframe Negative Thoughts
Our minds can be relentless, replaying worst case scenarios or moments where hindsight is 20/20. But here’s a little secret: you can catch those thoughts and gently redirect them. Try writing down the negative thought, and then fact check yourself. Is it 100% true, or is there kinder, more balanced way to see the situation? If this happened to your friend we thought about before, would you feel the same way? What would you tell them?
Through thinking this way and showing yourself enough love to reframe negativity, you can adjust your perspective. “I’m failing at everything” can become “I failed at one thing. And at the same time, I am doing my best and have succeeded in many things.” Over time, your brain will rewire itself to learn how to naturally be your ally, not your enemy.
4. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
When life feels heavy, who and what you surround yourself with matters. That doesn’t mean ignoring reality or pretending everything is perfect. It means seeking out the people who will make space for you to cry it out, or take you on a fun night out to lift your spirits. It’s the hour long FaceTimes when you just can’t carry it alone. It’s the nature walk you take yourself on during an extended lunch break to calm your nervous system or the music you choose to play on your car ride home.
Whatever your happy people, places, sounds, food, or energy is, try to make time and space for it while limiting time and space for exposure to negativity. For me, this often means force closing out of social media and hitting do not disturb on phone notifications. When your mental space is already crowded, let yourself breathe.
5. Make Time for Joy and Rest
Positivity isn’t about pushing through nonstop or always forcing a smile. It’s about honoring your needs, especially rest and fun!
Allow yourself permission to fully disconnect and take breaks, to do things you genuinely enjoy, and to recharge without guilt. Even five minutes of doing something joyful, like yoga poses or watching your favorite show, can make you feel a little bit mentally lighter.
Cultivate a Positive Mindset, One Step at a Time
Cultivating a positive mindset isn’t about being perfect or pretending life is easy. It’s taking one step at a time through the choices that you make, especially when life feels overwhelming.
Try picking just one of these tips for the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed and see how it feels. Often times we don’t grant ourselves the same love that we so easily extend to others, so let this serve as your reminder that you deserve it too.
Which mindset shift will you try first?