As a young adult, you are likely juggling a lot of change. For example, you may have a new job, a shift in priorities, a different dynamic between friends and family. All of these changes can cause you to feel uncertain of who you are as you continue to evolve. While evolving is a wonderful thing, the process can lead to insecurity. And unfortunately, insecurity can lead to relationship anxiety. Keep reading to learn what it is and how to overcome relationship anxiety.
What is Relationship Anxiety?
Relationship anxiety is also known as the “What If” questions. That is, you may ask yourself: “What if I’m not…good enough? Pretty enough? Successful enough? What if he finds someone better? What if I had poor judgment in choosing him? What if we grow apart or want different things?” These negative questions stem from insecurity.
While you may not be conscious of your insecurities, they can still trigger relationship anxiety. This creates an uneasy feeling about your partner. When you feel comfortable and confident, you will not feel anxious about your relationship. You know how lucky your partner is to have you! But, when you feel worried and insecure, you will feel unsettled. As a result, you may feel a decline in trust.
With relationship anxiety, it is important to remember that it is based on emotions. If there are facts and situations that validate your concerns, it is likely a bigger problem than relationship anxiety. When this is the case, try reading: 5 Signs It’s Time To Leave Something in Your Life.
How Can I Stop It?
The good news is, you are here! Therefore, you are aware of your relationship anxiety and ready to tackle it. And the beautiful thing is, your partner has nothing to do with overcoming your relationship anxiety. In fact, you should avoid involving them at all. Seeking reassurance may lead to more dependence and insecurity. Your security should never come from someone else!
The cure to relationship anxiety is a focus on improving yourself. To accomplish this, check-in with yourself and have an honest conversation. This means thinking openly and without judgment.
One way to have this conversation is through journaling. For example, see below for self-discovery journaling prompts.
After you have discovered the area your insecurity is stemming from, think of ways that you can work towards improving it. This can be as simple as stating affirmations daily, or as involved as creating an action plan for a healthier lifestyle. If you have trouble reaching a plan, it may be worth seeking out a licensed mental health professional. I am a huge advocate of therapy, and even one session can lead to strong realizations.
Whether you stay with your current partner or part ways, the work you put into overcoming your relationship anxiety will make you a better version of yourself. And that makes it worth everything!