If I wrote this article pretending I never cared what people think, I would not be honest with you! But, I do believe I have come a long way in my journey to learn how to stop caring what people think. I used to let this idea stop me from doing things I wanted to do. What will they think? Will I be embarrassed? Maybe it’s a bad idea. If you have shared these thoughts with me before, keep reading. Let’s go on this journey together! Let’s learn how to stop caring what people think.
Why do I care what people think?
There can be so many reasons why you may care what people think. Maybe you were bullied in your childhood. Maybe you grew up with parents who were too hard on you. Maybe you are a perfectionist at your core and afraid to do anything wrong. Or, perhaps it is something entirely different. It can be so difficult to pinpoint why you care what people think, and it can take many therapy sessions to discover!
The toughest part about figuring this out is you can wonder why you care so much! Sometimes, I wish I could turn off my brain and just take action without overthinking it. I have wondered what my life would be like if I stopped limiting my mind with the beliefs of others. And as I have made little changes, I have seen the difference that it makes. Hint: It can make a big difference! But how do you make these changes?
A lot of people will simply tell you that you “shouldn’t worry about what people think.” And my thoughts in response to this have always been, “what a great idea! How do I do it?” It is far easier said than done. And it is far easier for someone who does not struggle with it to say it and do it. Don’t worry – I won’t give you this brilliant idea.
Is it bad to care what people think?
To an extent, I think it is great that you care what people think! This can mean a few things. It can mean you strive to have a connection with others and feel accepted. It can also mean that you want to be the best version of yourself. Another thing it can mean is that you care deeply for others, among other things. These are all positive qualities – it is great to feel accepted, to want to be the best version of yourself, and to care for those that you love. But how can these positive qualities bring us here, wondering how to stop caring what people think?
It is only a positive thing to care what people think to an extent. If you find yourself making life-changing decisions based on what people think or even every little decision, it can take away from who you are. It can limit you and also prevent you from going after what you want. This is when it is not the most positive thing anymore. And it is time to learn how to stop caring what people think in such an extreme way.
How do I stop caring what people think? Here are 5 tips.
I’m not going to tell you to “stop caring what people think.” We’ve been over this- it just doesn’t help! It minimizes the effort that it takes to really do this. It can take a lot of effort and be really hard to stop caring so much about what people think. And I believe it is an ongoing process to learn as you continue to evolve. Where do you start? Keep reading below for 5 tips to learn how to stop caring what people think.
Tip #1: Other’s opinions ≠ my happiness.
- The first important thing to realize is that the opinions of others do not add up to your happiness. You doing things that make you happy will add up to your happiness. Sure, others may think that they know what is best for you. And it can be insightful to take their ideas into consideration. But, you should be the person to decide what is best for you at the end of the day. No one knows you better than you know yourself.
Tip #2: Affirmation – “I know myself best.”
- Going off of tip #1, affirm to yourself that you know yourself best! Seriously, does anyone else know the exact thoughts that go through your head on a daily basis? Does anyone else know the way your heart feels when certain things happen? Does anyone else truly know everything you have gone through better than you? No! So, have the confidence to know that you can make your own best decisions.
Tip #3: Is this decision really what I want?
- Check in with yourself when making decisions. This decision could be as simple as deciding to participate in a conversation or as impactful as changing careers. Regardless of what the decision is, you should make sure you are making the decision for you and that it is aligned with your values. If you are making a decision out of fear of what others will think, it may be a good idea to re-think.
Tip #4: Pretend you will be supported.
- If checking in with yourself isn’t working, let’s try playing pretend instead. Let’s pretend that regardless of what you do or decide, everyone around you will be 100% supportive. Of course, use this method within reason and with pure and kind intentions. But if you received support from the people surrounding you, what would you do? This exercise can help you to realize the impact that others thoughts have on you.
Tip #5: Flip the switch.
- Flip the switch. Ask yourself if you would judge others in the way you believe they are judging you. If you are self-conscious about your outfit, ask yourself if you would talk badly about someone else over their outfit. A lot of the time, people are not as concerned with us as we think they are. Others may not even be paying attention to your outfit! And if they are, is it really an admirable quality for them? Whether they talk badly about you or not, it says more about them than it does about you.
I hope that these 4 tips help you in your journey to learn how to stop caring what people think. It isn’t always the easiest habit to break, but believe in yourself that you can do it with a conscious effort! Slowly but surely, you will learn how to make choices based on your own thoughts and feelings. After years of working on myself, I have finally reached a point where I am somewhat able to do this! I am aware of what other people think and I sometimes wonder what they might be thinking. But, I take a deep breath and center myself. I remember that what I think for myself is more important. And you can too!